I’m in a bit of a despond...

This is my first blog in a good few years and its inspiration is from an unlikely source. At the beginning of The Rest is Politics podcast (31 August 2022 - listen here), Alistair Campbell responds to Rory Stewart’s "how are you?", with:-

“I'm in the middle of, or height of, a depressive episode … which you know I get from time to time … energy levels not as high as they normally are … I'm in a bit of a despond … it's been building for a while … the tipping point came during an interview (with Jonathan Powell, Tony Blairs former chief of staff)." In response to a call for action “I felt myself just plunging down and I think it's because I feel this constant conflict between responsibility to do more but sometimes just feel I don't know how”.

That courageous self disclosure verbalised my ongoing dichotomy. To stand up and be counted: but on what? Whilst also thinking; nah, I can’t be arsed.

Joseph Campbell, creator of the Hero’s Journey said “Before you climb your ladder pick your wall carefully”.

I’ve been climbing, descending, moving and rescaling ladders repeatedly in recent years. Do I complete the update of Bubble Wrapped Children? Create more online training? Travel again? Just concentrate on coaching? Move? Campaign on FASD? Write new books? Hang up my professional shoes? What do I really want? Where can I make a difference?

The last two are strong coaching questions with multiple, sometimes contradictory, answers which I’ve reflected on ad nauseam. My 'bit of a despond’. Alistair Campbell’s observation "....feel this constant conflict between responsibility to do more but sometimes just feel I don't know how”, resonated with my core. That stuckness is a place I, and many adopters, recognise.

Accountability is a powerful motivator. Uncertainty is seen by some as a weakness. My experience is that by facing confusion and stuckness, growth occurs. Learning about self can sometimes be painful, but dumping your s.h.i.t is transformational (see my first ever video, “c.r.a.p & s.h.i.t transformed”).

First step already taken. I’ve employed a high quality Coach.

I’ll keep you posted.

Helen